Wow after months.. Im back to “tum tum”!!
*Filled w emotions as I looked back how’s e year have been..
If I’ve few words to describe, “rough patch” I could say.
Of course it is an exciting journey for me.. Ups & downs like roller coaster ride!

Thank God for His grace, mercy & always watching on me:)

After SOT days, my life embarked a whole new level of responsibility & capacity needed.
Full of uncertainty in life, I embraced His word & truth..

Romans 8:28
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

By His provision & favor, I was accepted to Area Infinity Pte. Ltd. through the first interview. Praise the Lord! My boss also initiated to pay off my remaining school fees for SOT. God surely work through people to bless us & I’m thankful to it. Days learning so much in this field was totally awesome, such a blessing to be part of it. Aug 2010 to Feb 2011 so much learning & it also marked an end. I’ve decided to move on just as the company move on in different direction.
*Thank God for a half month pay “Ang Bao”!!

Job searching overview
Feb - Apr : Break
Apr - May : 2 months (hard time in a company, shall not say much)
June - present : Break (going interviews..)

It all seemed like a period of drought.
BUT I choose to look at it as a break time, resting now & working hard at the next phase!
I choose to rejoice in e Lord in this dry season.
I choose to be contented with what I have.
I choose to trust even I’m left with $2 in wallet.
I choose to trust in Him for He is always faithful, His love & word never fails.
I choose to look upon Him.
I choose to count my little blessings & friends that stood by me.
I choose to believe I’m blessed even though my iPhone 4 went missing. 
I choose to believe I’m blessed even though i’m jobless.
I choose to believe He’s my provider, my present help in time of needs.
When I’m weak, He is strong. Therefore with Him, I’m STRONG!

Lamentation 3:20-26
20 My soul still remembers And sinks within me.This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope.22 Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not.23  They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I hope in Him!”25 The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, To the soul who seeks Him.26 It is good that one should hope and wait quietly For the salvation of the Lord.

• Holy Spirit is bringing me to remembrance -> Hope in Him
• His mercy & compassions never fail
• He is faithful
• He is my portion & my inheritance, I’m holding to the source of Hope
• He is good to me even if I’ve to wait, it is good:)

<3 el

“tick tock  tick tock”’

Going to say good bye to 2010 soon & welcoming 2011.
The latter rain will be greater than the former rain I confessed. :)
2011 
I’ll be 23yrs old *oh gosh :[
hi 23 me,
A new image is needed.
A greater responsibility.
Every bits of me need to GROW,
not just in numbers but every areas in life.

23 me, seems like I’m going to start from 0 again.
Work life, is like multi-storey building.
Climbing from level 1. *FOCUS
Love life, going to be 3rd year with Logan.
More planning to do, saving up etc.
Ministry life, near 2years in leading s28.
I confess GROWTH, from 12 to 24, 24 to 35!!
2+3= 5 (Grace upon grace)
Capacity to grow!!

*What are my wishes for birthday?
My ultimate wish: (serious) My loved ones unfolding their destiny & be happy with life! Cheers to successful lives!!
To family: Good health, happy r/s, success in lives & SALVATION!
To buddies: Good partner & marriage, successful career & ministry:)
To S28: Great results, dream school, Godly bf/gf, meaningful friendships, growing in e Lord.
To Dar: Grow stronger in army, good health & prospering in ALL areas:)
**Power of confession
Loving God more.. unfolding my destiny in His will:)

Black to white

Here I was, staring at the changing stages. As my church will meet at various places for a few months maximum, nomadic and unpredictable. I pretty enjoyed as I was young at that time, I have explored different places and learned to recognise directions more. I started to be more serious ever since I have found Him through His leading of cause.
“Hey Elaine! I heard from your brother(Sam), you are pretty good in Arts huh?” Caleb asked.
Caleb was my deco team IC in church, in charge of stage deco according to different themes in church weekly. Just by knowing my interest, that is how I got recruited in ministry then. I enjoyed to the max! Brainstorming, buying of materials, art & craft, etc. Soon I learned to grow in the Lord bit by bit.. started to have 3sheeps under my care. I was lost as I was used to be under someone’s care.
“No one is ever ready”, “None can teach all things to someone and sometimes it need to be caught by seeing the example shown”.. With this bearing in mind, I led His sheep given to me. We had fun, shop, short bible sharing, prepared welcome gifts, etc.. For the first time I understood the meaning of not despising the youth.

1 Timothy 4:12
[ Take Heed to Your Ministry ] Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

I thank God for the leaders that believe in me & allowing me to serve while I am young. That was my growing stage in faith!

                                       ——————————

White to black
(The walk with Him aint bed of roses indeed.)

My life was never the same again and never once I regretted it.
The love I received, the acceptance I felt, the transformation I seen, just like magic vanished after a show but this encounter with God imprinted in me. I felt newness in me!

When I stepped into secondary school, that was when my dark years started. Episode 1
(In church vs school)
*beep beep* You’ve a message
I read my message that I’ve been selected to join NPCC officially, CCA will be on Saturday weekly. Back of my mind, how about church service.. CCA point.. etc
I do love God, however, due to CCA I was often called back for camps, trainings etc.
*pondering:Why isn’t someone taught me to put God first? 
Busyness unintentionally, unknowingly, seemingly harmlessly allowed me to be backslided, away from God. I lost the truth, the way and the life. Again, felt empty in me and found the wrong way to fill it up by BGR. Left me again and again with hurt, insecurity, purposeless. In order to hide, rebellious self arose on the surface of me. Chosen short cut to destruction- uninterested in studies, back to carnality.

(In family)
I just wanna speed typed this..
Dad ended up in debts due to gambling
Mum ended sick in hospital
To make it worst last stage of cancer
How I wish I can cancel it in my life just like that.

Black to white again.
If wasn’t I have a second chance? If I wasn’t God is gracious? If wasn’t CHC and people that believed in me? Will I be here?

(Turning point)
Miraculously, my mum was healed after someone in ward that prayed and reached out to her-glory to God!
My studies reversed and I studied better to manage to get in to my dream school.
I’m grateful that I have found one that love me as first love.
(Imagine changing bfs like clothing.. shopping & trying clothing can be real tiring too)
I’ve found my calling, dream team.
I’ve found my dream job.
Isn’t amazing that I’ve gained and is gaining more than what I’ve lost?
When I invest my life in God, He’ll never fail me. =)
                                          ——————————

Flooded with thoughts
If non believe in me, I will not be here I am today.
If none believe in youths, find them too immature, fail to see any potential in them. Will there be next generation?
*The power of believing
If not for God and the church, where will I be today.
It is not just for the weak, poor, needy ones.. rich, smart and strong need it as well. We all have a emptiness in us that only He can fill it up.

Through the years, ups and downs I realised I need Him more & more each day.
I’m thankful that His grace is sufficient for me so that I can continue the walk.. & never let me go again!

                                                2001 to 2002
                              Known as the darkest years in my life

The first time i came across and studied on “the dark age” movement, I was in Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts- Art History class. It seemed the most negative and downside of different kinds of movement I’ve learned. This article I’ve searched and refreshed my understanding on it, focusing on the belief and not much on the culture or progression of the era..

Reminded: “Your greatest aim in life determines what your dominant life principle/belief is!”

The Dark Ages – Faith vs. Enlightenment
The Dark Ages were a tumultuous time. Roving horse-bound invaders charged the country sides. Religious conflicts arose; Muslims conquered lands. Scarcity of sound literature and cultural achievements marked these years; barbarous practices prevailed.

Despite the religious conflicts, the period of the Dark Ages was seen as an age of faith. Men and women sought after God; some through the staid rituals of the Catholic Church, others in Protestant forms of worship. Intellectuals view religion in any form as, itself, a type of “darkness.” These thinkers assert that those who followed religious beliefs lied to themselves, creating a false reality. They were dominated by emotions, not fact. Religion was seen as contrary to rationality and reason, thus the move towards enlightenment — a move away from “darkness.” Science and reason gained ascendancy, progressing steadily during and after the Reformation and Age of Enlightenment.

To some extent, the period of the Dark Ages remains obscure to modern onlookers. The tumult of the era, its religious conflict and denigration, and debatable time period all work together to shroud the period in diminished light.

The irony of this is that our 21st Century world is no less dark. It is an individual darkness, which multiplies and grows as those who reject God walk together and dominate politics, education, and society. Our age is characterized by every intellectual and technological advance but our morals have turned backwards. “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God — having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them” (2 Timothy 3:1-5). These are the characteristics of true darkness.
Source from:http://www.allabouthistory.org/the-dark-ages.htm

Like what the movement ended up like searching for truth and most got lost, sad but it is often true. What is the point to win all debates about it and loses all friends? Love truth and knowledge so much- it puffs up OR reject truth and heck care about everything-wilfully ignorance, both eventually loses their soul?

In 1999
To my case, I came to know God when I’m 11years old. Like most seekers, I’m slightly younger to want to know about finding the truth. Been to uncountable temples could not satisfy me.
“I’m lost!”, I screamed within the innermost of me.
*Doubts flooding me, however, the search for truth deepened.
“Are You real?” I pondered while gazing out of the class window to the field.
(Soon I forgot about this inner conversation, no it was not even a two way hearing and talking yet. Maybe a self conversation would described better.)

Days passed..
“Hey, what music is that?” I asked enthusiastically.
My elder brother was not paying any attention to me. I picked up the album cover and browse quickly at the lyrics. Amazingly, what attracted me was not that cover image but the beautiful lyrics.
“Da ge, can I listen to this song-the shepherd of my soul?”, the question just popped out casually out of my mouth.
Of cause my elder brother pressed to it and I kept insisting to repeat the song again and again. The melody just stuck it my mind. From then, the reply to my innermost cry, kept on unfolding more and more truth to it. Soon, I was invited to go church with my brother and my search ceased. At last, I felt satisfaction.

John 14:6- Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

Coming soon- Part 2 publishing on 27 oct.